March

Though I haven’t written on my blog for 4 years (yikes) I’m returning because I’ve said goodbye to Facebook 😮. I know.  It is a huge time suck for me and my family needs more of me and my time.  Facebook was a place for me to record happenings of my life, and so now I need a different outlet (without all the stupid notifications of people commenting or liking my stuff.  Thank goodness).

Adam is an attorney at Haynes & Boone as a patent litigator and prosecutor. When he’s not working he’s home helping around the house or doing stuff needed for his church calling as elders quorum president. He goes running in the evening to keep his stress levels somewhat manageable. I’ve been really proud of him for going outside and throwing the ball with Alex and the other kids because I know how tired he feels. I’m so grateful we are on this journey together.  We balance each other out. Many times if I’m losing it with the kids (if he’s home)he’ll step in and be the voice of calm and reason, and vice versa. He always keeps me laughing and is willing to listen to my daily complaints ( whether about life or being pregnant).  I always tell him I’m the luckiest girl in the world that he chose me.

I’m still me: A to do list a mile long, grossly aware of my imperfections, striving to overcome them while raising four little people, soon to be five.  We still homeschool. I’m grateful that my kids love learning, as I did and do.  School isn’t hard for them but being consistent in doing it, is.  Teaching them to make good choices when someone isn’t telling them what to do, is the struggle.  I feel we homeschool for teaching proper behavior/ manners and how to be a hard worker and persevere.  Every year I give the kids an individualized virtue to work on.  Alex’s is being self controlled and kind.  Much of his discipline arises from doing something or taking something from his siblings and saying, “but I wanted that or wanted {blank}”.  If we can lengthen his reaction time long enough for him to analyze his wants and if they are necessary and what others wants and needs are, I think we’ll make progress.  It’s a long road for him. Lily’s virtue is diligent: to work hard, fast and finish strong. She has a habit of starting things but not finishing them, or doing something fun but leaving bits of mess in her wake. Elliott’s is to be helpful.  He can be helpful when he wants to, but frequently will drag his feet or find a way to not help if it’s a group project (cleaning the upstairs or outside).

Other things about me: I’m 18 weeks pregnant and still experiencing nausea coupled with fatigue and an aching leg from huge varicose veins.  Not fun.  I seemed to inherit my mom’s pregnancy genes: it gets harder every time and the symptoms become more severe. I’ve decided this is our last child because of these facts.  I could love and manage more kids, but I just can’t go through the mental, physical and emotional process to get them here, one more time.  Having 5 kids in the space of just barely 9 years has been really hard on my body.  I am very grateful for each one of them.  I would love for this to be a little girl, for Lily and my sake, but I’m very familiar with raising boys and will be happy with a boy as well. We’ll find out on Friday, if the baby cooperates.  

I’m also currently a Cub Scout den leader.  It’s a fun calling.  The boys are very energetic but I can handle that.  I love teaching them new stuff.  At our last pack meeting we learned about space. I was in charge of the “gathering” and brought styrofoam balls, tin foil, pipe cleaners and pony beads for them to make their own satellites.  Looked underwhelming on the surface, but all the boys and siblings loved making their own. Go figure.  I was also in charge of one of the space simulation stations.  I had big winter gloves (space gloves) and a 24 piece floor puzzle for them to complete( fixing something outside the ship) in 5 minutes.  They were all very confident when it was their turn that it would be a piece of cake, but it was much much harder and many didn’t finish in the allotted time.

Other than that my life consists of diaper changes, laundry, cleaning, running errands, making food and taking kids to various activities (ballet, cub or Girl Scouts, visiting teaching, the park or field trips).  Actually we went on a field trip worth mentioning. We drove to grapevine, Texas to see a few different methods of making art: glass blowing, blacksmithing and a gallery that held different kinds of art (wall hangings, pottery, metal work, etc).  By the time we went to the last place Luke was tired of sitting in his stroller and needed to run around.  Elliott stayed with me as well and I sent Alex and Lily inside with the expectation that they would be in their best manners.  They were, for the most part.  One lady said Alex almost unknowingly backed into some pottery and she quickly told him to watch out.  I guess he didn’t respond very kindly, as she told me afterward.  Alex and I had to talk about how most people have good intentions and are trying to help one another.  Even though he wasn’t trying to do something wrong, the lady needed to correct/ help him.  I had him go back to her and thank her for trying to help him  and apologize if he was disrespectful in any way.  I had no idea how much this little experience would tie into my current life, as said below.

At the start of the month I found out my mom had decided to live in an “independent living” housing facility. She would have her own apartment (room, bathroom, kitchenette and living room) and she could get all her meals at a restaurant in the facility that would be included in her fee.  Our family had worked on preparations to get our mom moved a year prior and certain things had been spoken for.  My mom wanted my grandma Ina’s dining room table and hutch to stay in the family but no one wanted them.  When she felt so bad about it I offered to take them, even though that would mean getting rid of my own table that I had been refinishing.  I asked Adam when he could go up to Utah in the next month help me drive the table and matching hutch back, and he said it had to be that weekend (the next day!) because of various pending projects and deadlines coming up.  I told my mom we were coming the next day and miraculously lined up babysitters for my kids the next three days.  We arrived the next day to find my mom sick/dizzy and she’d totally forgotten we were coming (not uncommon for my moms current memory). I took her to the urgent care, they gave her medicine and I proceeded to get to work as I only had that day to get stuff done and start driving back to Texas the next day.  My aunt had already made a list of what was going to my mom’s new place and said nothing else would fit.  Seeing this was my opportunity to preserve my moms memories, and having a truck, I decided to take 15 boxes of family history (photos, letters, journals etc) with me.  We took her downstairs couch and a side table.  I helped to clear out her books and a few downstairs closets.  My aunt thanked me for my help and for taking a big load to the thrift store.  The next morning we were on our way.  I shed a lot of tears on the drive home.  Tear for the big change that was happening. Tears that my mom’s memory is getting to bad. Tears that I wished I had more time with my mom with her old faculties.

Unfortunately, those wouldn’t be the only tears I would shed. Apparently my mom got really sick after I left because of the stuff leaving her house.  No one told me that had happened until a week and a half later.  If I had known, Adam and I would have turned the truck around, unloaded it and tried to figure something else out.  Unfortunately, some just chose to see it as me making a bad choice and hurting my mom.  That misunderstanding grew and pretty much caused me to have a nervous breakdown.  I’m still keeping the family history, as that is irresplaceable, but I finally asked my mom if I could sell everything else  and send her a check.  Looking at these things just brings me pain and my mom was trying to get as much money from her existing furniture anyway.  No one wanted anything either. I’m hoping that my actions will show her and others that I was never in it for the stuff. I never needed any of it or really wanted it. I was only trying to be helpful.  I’m now learning how it feels when you are misunderstood for good intentions and have to seek forgiveness in the ways you can make restitution.  I know this experience will be something I can add to my “bag of compassion” as I like to call it. Those are things that can help me to love and understand and hopefully better help someone who ever experiences something similar. **big sigh**

On to happier things...

Adam and Lily had birthdays this month.  Adam is thirty-six and Lily a respectable seven.  I only made one cake this year. It was a white cake with a big, pink flower on it, and just Lily’s name on it. Sadly when we went to sing the birthday song, we sang “happy birthday dear lilyyyyyyyyy” and Adam slid in there “and daddy....” . I totally failed to mention him and felt HORRIBLE!  Adam is such a good sport.  I love that man and grateful I’ve been able to celebrate ten of his birthdays with him.  Lily got some fun things: some hat looms, a craft idea book, a stuffed animal, socks, and a new bike. She loved all of it.

The day before their birthdays was, as usual, Pi day.  I made two fruit pies: a banana cream and a fresh berry pie.  I let Lily help me make both and she thoroughly enjoyed it.  It’s usually hard for me to let the kids help when I cook because we are in some sort of hurry, but that day we weren’t.  It made it fun for both of us.  She really loves learning to cook.  She can independently make her own eggs.  It still makes me nervous that she can use the stove, but  I guess it had to happen sometime.

Alex has started playing baseball again.  We aren’t playing with Wylie anymore.  He needed a fresh start with a new team and a, hopefully, nice coach.  He got both!  A laid back team and nice coach.  Alex still loves playing and it’s nice to see that even though he didn’t play in the fall, that he has improved a little and retained all of his previous knowledge of the game.  He is very attentive during games and practices which makes all the difference in being able to execute a play successfully.  He’s already had two assists in games and this last game on Monday, he hit his very first homer!  I didn’t film it because I never film anything but his face was priceless.  He almost got out at home but slid in and was safe.  I was so proud of him.  He didn’t get the game ball because another boy hit his first homer as well and they gave it to him.  I could tell Alex was let down but was very grown up about it.  I was really proud of him again.  I let him have ice cream (just him) when we got home, while everyone else was getting ready for bed.

Today, Tuesday, I took Lily and Luke for their evaluations at NACD with Lyn Waldec in Waxahachie,Tx.  For Luke, the conclusions were to not push his speech therapy so hard but to work more on his processing since it’s barely at a one.  He’ll say the same word, like Alex’s name,  once every few months and that’s a sign his processing isn’t quite one because the words don’t stick.   I need to take pictures of objects in our house and use those for picture therapy cards and then play games to test output (since that is what he’s having the hardest time doing).  One really great thing we discovered he is doing, is singing (just the tune and with good pitch, otherwise we wouldn’t have picked up on it) 2-3 primary songs.  I cried tears of joy knowing that something was making its way into his little head.  Tender mercy for me. I have hope for Luke that we will make more progress.  He is such a sweet, happy little boy.

Lily had her first evaluation, and the reason I brought her in was because of her small speech impediment.  She can’t say ‘s’ without sticking out her tongue.  I know we’ll get her sorted with the activities NACD will send me in for her in a few days.  Lyn evaluated her academically and assessed her at a 7th grade reading level and 5th grade reading comprehension level! WOW!!!  It’s even more amazing considering she only started reading a year ago January.  I can’t remember her math score but it was closer to her grade level, second grade-ish. If Lily was in public school, she’d be finishing the first grade.  The girl is a marvel.  Not surprisingly, Lyn remarked on how easy she was to chat with and how she had excellent manners.  That made this mama proud 😁😁😁. My goal in life is to raise honest, respectful, hard working people. I think she’s well on her way to be coming that.

The last person I haven’t really mentioned is Elliott.  As usual, that boy is thrown into the mix and just goes with the flow.  What a blessing. He and I sit down every morning and practice his reading with Dr Seuss books.  He’s getting better all the time. He’s easily our earliest reader by two years.  I can tell he tries to do things to make me happy. Example, I frequently find him at the sink feabily scrubbing dishes (without being asked) because he wants to help me.  Conversely, he tells little white lies that earn him extra chores.  I’m grateful he’s a bad liar so I can hopefully nip this habit in the bud.  Honestly though, he’s a really sweet little boy.  Anyone who meets him and spends more than 5 minutes with him can’t help but love him.