Falling Apart
People always ask me 'how I'm doing/managing with three kids'. I never quite know how to answer. BB is very easy. He hardly cries, is a great eater and it hasn't been difficult to fix whatever has been wrong. The kids love him and always want to hold him, give him binkies and talk to him. These are all great things. But I seem to be falling apart. I never know what is 'me' and what is hormones. These past 2 weeks I've been unnaturally angry. Normally my mood (in this case anger) is largely influenced by whats going on around me and other people's moods. This time it's purely me being ridiculous. Consequently, my kids are reacting to my mood and being more needy/sad which makes me even more stressed/angry. I realize I only have myself to blame, but I'm really struggling to get my emotional feel under me. I know I've struggled with depression in the past, and I know I'm dealing with the baby blues right now, but how long do I endure this?
Other factors are playing into how I feel: baby weight (I have a solid 15 pounds to lose), my hair is at an ugly length (I can't quite put my hair into a pony tail without some of it falling out), and my skin is acting like it's 14 again. I tried to take matters into my own hands and went running last night. Well... I'm now limping because I had hip pain throughout my pregnancy and I only exacerbated it by running.
Sweet.
And just this morning I had to go to an endodontist for my first root canal. I had upper jaw pain starting in October and suspected a sinus infection. I got an antibiotic and it wiped out the pain. This process happened THREE more times, but each time the antibiotic became less effective. My dentist wouldn't take x-rays to check my teeth because I was pregnant (even thought my OB ok'd it) so I had to wait. I went in 3 weeks after BB was born and it turns out I needed a root canal. During this time, my normal Dr. suggested that I probably had allergies. And she was right. In summary, I'm limping and need to see a Chiropractor, have seasonal allergies and just had a root canal. I'm falling apart! I've always been so healthy. I'm only 25. TWENTY FIVE!!! This kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen to healthy people at my age.
Just feeling discouraged that I'm having to see so many doctors and can't seem to keep my emotions in check. I love my kids so much but I hope that they don't remember me during this time of their life. I can't hardly stand to be with myself some days :(
Other factors are playing into how I feel: baby weight (I have a solid 15 pounds to lose), my hair is at an ugly length (I can't quite put my hair into a pony tail without some of it falling out), and my skin is acting like it's 14 again. I tried to take matters into my own hands and went running last night. Well... I'm now limping because I had hip pain throughout my pregnancy and I only exacerbated it by running.
Sweet.
And just this morning I had to go to an endodontist for my first root canal. I had upper jaw pain starting in October and suspected a sinus infection. I got an antibiotic and it wiped out the pain. This process happened THREE more times, but each time the antibiotic became less effective. My dentist wouldn't take x-rays to check my teeth because I was pregnant (even thought my OB ok'd it) so I had to wait. I went in 3 weeks after BB was born and it turns out I needed a root canal. During this time, my normal Dr. suggested that I probably had allergies. And she was right. In summary, I'm limping and need to see a Chiropractor, have seasonal allergies and just had a root canal. I'm falling apart! I've always been so healthy. I'm only 25. TWENTY FIVE!!! This kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen to healthy people at my age.
Just feeling discouraged that I'm having to see so many doctors and can't seem to keep my emotions in check. I love my kids so much but I hope that they don't remember me during this time of their life. I can't hardly stand to be with myself some days :(
Comments
I hate hormones. I hate them so bad. You will be in our prayers. Hang in there lady!